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The Kind of “Chick” That Makes Us “Sick”

Any time I need to feel even better about myself, all I need to do is to check out the desperate whores you see on your average everyday online dating website. I read them for entertainment only because this is a very desperate group.

What they don’t know is that these websites are, in reality, exactly like eBay. These girls are whoring themselves out to the highest bidder. And, as you know if you’ve ever used eBay, sometimes you get more than you ever expected for that old piece of junk you’re offering. Other times, you get just 99 cents.

I would love to provide you with a link to the specimen I am about to quote, because the photos are more desperate than even the text below for this “45 year old” California resident who appears like to have her loose flesh amply displayed for what she apparently imagines are minions of drooling guys just waiting to give her what she wants.

I won’t provide you with the link because I don’t want to give her the opportunity to falsely accuse me of libel. Let’s just say that this self-description could be from “anyone.”

Here it is, cut and pasted exactly as I saw it (yes, single-spaced Unabomber-style), so you can judge for yourself: 

HI – HERES A FEW “NEW PICS” 8/11/11 🙂 IM STILL “LOOKING” FOR “MR. RIGHT”!!! “HAVING FUN WITH THE “CAMERA”!!!.. I Like Io “See New Pics” of the Person Im “Meeting”!! (That’s Fair’) IM LOOKING FOR AN “ATTRACTIVE”, “IN SHAPE” MAN WITH HIS “ACT TOGETHER”!,Fun, Generous, Caring person That looking for that “Special Person”.. “About Me”- I USE TO ‘MODEL’ & DID SOME ‘ACTING’, ‘NOW’ I WORK PT. AS A ‘SALES REP.’ FOE A ‘HOME INSPECTION CO.’.. I’m Outgoing, I love the outdoors. I snow ski, roller blade on the beach,also horseback ride. I keep myself “In Shape”, I stay active.. I like to be “Romanced’, Flowers, ect.. I , Spiritual, has Values.. Enjoys life and family, likes to have fun, travel, dining out, shopping, movies, theater ect.. likes the out doors, snow skiing, ect.. ‘Romantic’ who’s looking for a long-term relationship, that could possibly lead to More… Maybe that’s You !! ) I wont answer without a “Photo”!! 🙂 LOVE SUSHI Fine Dining , Good Wines, Romantic Getaways, I enjoy going to movies ,concerts, theater, Travel… I have an 14 year old Daughter who’s the “Light of My Life”!! I am good Communicator, I’m Caring, Honest, and a loving person with Good Values, Spiritual.. I would like to have along term relationship that could later turn into something More Serious, I would like to get Married Someday.. So if you would like to meet sometime for “Coffee” Let Me Know.. I’m looking for a “Attractive” & “Professional Successful Man”!! who’s Honest, a Good Communicator

And now, here is what the profile “said”  along with some of my “running commentary.”

HI – HERES A FEW “NEW PICS” 8/11/11 🙂 (What this really means: “I’ve been here for so long, many of you are beginning to recognize me and reject me like a house that’s been on the market for too long.“)  IM STILL “LOOKING” FOR “MR. RIGHT”!!! (“See” what I “mean?”)  HAVING FUN WITH THE “CAMERA”!!! (What she didn’t say is: “If I think I can hook you, I’ll have even more fun with the camera so you can see the merchandise even better before I sell it to you.”

I Like Io “See New Pics” of the Person Im “Meeting”!! (That’s Fair’) (I, for one, like to “see new pics” of hot young women, Having “fun” wIth the “camera.”) IM LOOKING FOR AN “ATTRACTIVE”, “IN SHAPE” MAN WITH HIS “ACT TOGETHER”!  (I’d like to find a woman just like that. Know any?) 

Fun, Generous (we all know what that mean$), Caring person That looking for that “Special Person”..(Most of us are looking for a reasonable looking chick who can spell and who knows how to properly use punctuation and grammar. Know any?)

“About Me”- I USE TO ‘MODEL’ & DID SOME ‘ACTING’ (faking orgasm, perhaps?), ‘NOW’ I WORK PT. AS A ‘SALES REP.’ FOE A ‘HOME INSPECTION CO.’ (working PT? How do you make ends meet?).. I’m Outgoing, I love the outdoors. I snow ski (and she’s really saying: “if you pay for my travel expenses and lift ticket”),roller blade on the beach,also horseback ride. I keep myself “In Shape”, I stay active. (“I’m sexy and I know it!”). I like to be “Romanced’, Flowers, ect.. I , Spiritual, has Values (“I won’t sleep with you until I know you’re paying for everything! what kind of a girl do you think I am?“).. Enjoys life and family (prepare to babysit), likes to have fun (with other guys when you’re not looking), travel (when you’re paying), dining out (ditto), shopping (double ditto), movies, theater ect.. likes the out doors, snow skiing (said that already), ect.. ‘Romantic’ who’s looking for a long-term relationship (sick of fucking guys who never pay for anything), that could possibly lead to More… Maybe that’s You !! ) (“More?” You lucky guy!) I wont answer without a “Photo”!! 🙂 LOVE SUSHI (“and it IS expensive, after all!”Fine Dining (bring your wallet), Good Wines (and your ATM card), Romantic Getaways (you find them, then put down the deposit), I enjoy going to movies ,concerts, theater, Travel (lots of repetition here)

I have an 14 year old Daughter who’s the “Light of My Life”!! (I warned you about babysitting!) I am good Communicator (“I never shut up and I’m extraordinarily repetitive!”), I’m Caring, Honest, and a loving person with Good Values (“and you know that because I’m looking for someone who won’t ask to sleep with me until he’s made his first mortgage payment or car payment for me!”), Spiritual.. I would like to have along term relationship that could later turn into something More Serious (same thing said countless different ways), I would like to get Married Someday (“and I thought showing photos of my cooch to complete strangers would be the way to make that happen!”).. So if you would like to meet sometime for “Coffee” (“because I never cook…that’s why I look like this!”) Let Me Know.. I’m looking for a “Attractive” & “Professional Successful Man” (Because I’m “not successful” and I’m depending on “you,” the successful professional, to pay for everything I “buy!”) !! who’s Honest, a Good Communicator

Your honest reactions are encouraged. What do you think of this?

8 Responses to The Kind of “Chick” That Makes Us “Sick”

  1. Drexel October 9, 2014 at 10:03 pm #

    Who reads profiles?

    If she’s cute, try to fuck her. If successful, proceed as appropriate depending on her temperament.

    Womens’ profiles are all the same, just like the women themselves. (there are good ones, but they’re rare)

  2. Ash October 10, 2014 at 6:43 am #

    Sooo, she’s 45 and working part-time with a 14 year old daughter? But she needs a successful man? I have no problem with moms who work part-time, while they take care of the their home and children….but to expect to have some random dude take care of her and her daughter prior to even entering the relationship…I mean, what a sad act of desperation and laziness. Also, bitch, take an English class.

  3. jt October 10, 2014 at 1:17 pm #

    Even when they don’t create a whole demands list like the one here, it’s still the same shit one or the other way. You are supposed to like horses, her old wrinkly mother or her two stinky cats. Like? Yes, because when you would say you’re not really an animal lover the game is over, the same for not wanting to see her mother. I know what I’m talking about, I’ve had the worst dating experiences you can imagine. For instance a chick that told me she was voluptuous, then on the first meeting I immediately saw that she was just plain fat. And so are all of these demanding bitches. Either old, fat, single mother or low education (betting on your future success)

  4. Raiden October 13, 2014 at 3:16 pm #

    And it begins. The white knights and manginas are so desperate for female attention and approval that women who are -6s are demanding men who are 8s (and the sad thing is, desperate men give into this reign of whale terror). Good job weak men. #mgtow

  5. Mike April 10, 2015 at 5:50 pm #

    It takes me very little time to know if a woman will be an asset or a drag on my life. I only have assets in my bullpen. Drags are kicked to the curb.

  6. bassoonorama April 10, 2015 at 11:35 pm #

    Wait 4 years and tap the daughter.

  7. capper April 11, 2015 at 5:14 am #

    yeah… you referenced this on today’s WOP.

    i had to come and read!

  8. Calm Bram April 11, 2015 at 10:29 am #

    In that same (varicose) vein, here’s a posting from Craigslist which Tom read on the air years ago: “It’s me! Every girl ever.”:

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/471580402.html

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