I’m still listening to the conversation you had with James and, to be honest, I can’t get enough. I find myself rewinding it over and over and over again. It’s like watching a bad car wreck unfold on the interstate or something. You don’t want to watch the carnage but you just can’t help it.
Let me get this straight; this guy claims to be renting out a $17 million, 4,000 sq-foot home on 27 acres, right? Yeah, and the Denver Broncos just signed me to a multi-million dollar deal to replace Von Miller while he serves the rest of his suspension. First of all, any home worth $17 million had better be larger than 4,000 square feet. I really don’t know who he was trying to impress by bringing that up but there are homes in my subdivision that have 4,000 square feet; including mine. And last I checked, none of them have an asking price of $17 million; you could put Six Flags in the back of one of them and it still wouldn’t add up to that kind of price. Secondly, anyone who could afford to rent a $17 million home would simply bypass the middle man and buy a cheaper one outright with the same kind of bells and whistles; not continue to cut a check every month. That’s like leasing a car to term, then renewing the lease on the same car; what sense does that make? So the claim he makes to renting out such a luxurious home for his wife and five kids is a preposterous one at best.
To truly understand the language of a mangina, you have to know that all manginas overstate their lots in life to others who don’t know better in order to hide the pain of the soup they launched themselves into. One has to read between the lines and be able to interpret his claims to fame. When he said that he rents a 4,000 sq-ft, $17 million home on 27 acres, what he really meant was that he’s a month behind on the 2,100 sq-ft, $170k home that sits on 0.27 acres. He says that he goes out with his friends all the time (twice a year) on his bike (bicycle) and he has a boat (a 9” toy one that his kids use to play in the bathtub with; since he bought it, he can claim ownership to the ‘boat’). That is how you properly interpret a mangina who wants to espouse his joy for indentured servitude upon the rest of society. This is the real summation of James’ typical evening…of course, he’ll never have the guts to rebut…
He comes home every day at six in the evening with a paycheck in hand. He pulls into the garage of that 2,100 sq-ft home of his, with barely enough room to park because of the bikes, scooters, hot cycles, and other mess the kids left behind. He comes inside where he sees toys and video games parts scattered all over the place and his kids running around like they’re in the middle of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. He tries to kiss his wife, but she bristles and moves away because she opened up a gas bill with a past due balance of $1.68 on it; no action for him for the next seven weeks. After taking the ensuing tirade of not being fiscally responsible from her for the next half hour in front of his kids and their friends, he slinks into the kitchen thinking that a hot meal is in the can and it is; literally. She informs him that they already ate and since a few of their friends showed up to the house, they got a meal and emptied what was left over for him. That means taking out the Campbell’s soup, a pack of Top Ramen and fixing something up for himself. But wait a minute; the youngest kid loves chicken and stars so wifey tells him that if he’s going to fix that, he’s going to have to make enough for everyone. So the can of soup now has to be transformed into a full-course meal with wifey micromanaging the entire process without lifting one fingernail. After everyone has eaten, the kitchen is a hot mess with the additional dishes being added to what was never washed before he arrived home; of course, she tells him that she’s too tired from cleaning the house ‘all day’ (wink wink) and he has to bust the suds instead. By the time he finally gets upstairs, she’s fast asleep in a triple-layered burlap sack of a nightgown with the covers wrapped around her like a fajita. Another round of browsing his favorite adult site on his cell now awaits…a kiss goodnight on the back of her neck is quickly met with ‘get back with me when you have your $$$ together…’
Isn’t marriage lovely?
As you’ve stated over and over again, marriage in general and relationships as a whole, is nothing more than the long-term agreement you sign with a cellphone carrier, a satellite provider, or car lease. They entice you with nice perks to get you in the door and will use any tactic under the sun to get your name on a contract. But soon after you’re locked in, the service(s) they promise to provide to you gets done less frequently and with no zeal or excitement about it.
That’s why it pays to be the free agent as you’ve mentioned. Ever notice that when wifey and her girlfriends get together at the bistro and talk about guys they’ve been with, the only redeeming quality she’ll bring up regarding the husband is that he comes home, is great with the kids, or at least he pays the bills? Sure, she gave the rat pack every blow by blow detail of the high school quarterback, the college basketball star, the pro wrestler, or the 13 guys she was with at Spring Break or Freaknik, but all she could think of telling them about hubby is his ability to pay down her student loans. Chris Rock had it right over a decade ago when he said that women had such low regard for the guys they marry; because the ones they marry were never their first choice. They never thought that they would end up with the type of guy they spent their high school years and early-20s laughing at. No small wonder then why over two-thirds of divorces are initiated by them in the first place.
DJ in Lithonia, GA
No comments yet.